oops i accidentally left magic in z's room all night. poor kitty was so clingy when he got out. he probably wanted to cuddle with us and knows that z is off limits for now.
Trying to continue on with my high from yesterday. Garrett had to work at 8 so he set the alarm for 630. We both got up and i started making a bottle for Zypher, who woke up at 645 :) This really could not get any better!
We let z play around and crawl and explore on his own until 730 when i donned my work out gear and put z in clothes, poured apple juice in a sippy cup and grabbed the diaper bag and keys.
I plan on walking a mile, or further, depending on how things (heat mainly) go. Well there is a shocker! I cant get into the parking lot :( Turns out they are repainting the parking stripes. Way to go school district/ city for letting the public know this information. No i dont mind parking on the street and going out of my way to get to the track anyways.
I am not going to let this ruin my day though! I started up my cd player (ancient, i know! but i couldnt find our mp3s!!!) But it didnt play. it kept saying error no matter which cd i put in. oh well, no big deal. begin walking and oh the sun. why didnt i bring sunglasses? oh yea i cant find them because z likes to play with them. Well no biggie. We get a half a mile down and stop to hydrate. At 3/4 of a mile, z decides every few steps he wants to drop all his toys. At a mile we stopped and it still only took 20 minutes :) I walked an extra quarter lap at a slow pace to cool off and the breeze felt amazing. However, the heat did not. Even at 8 AM the darn heat was getting bad.
As we were packing up, a crop duster started flying overhead so we HAD to watch it. Z even waved to it a few times.
As i start the van up, i realize oh hey, in my little cubby i have two sunglasses. HAHA!!!
Z is taking a nap.
I have gotten my transcript ordered and sent to the community college, I sectioned up the hamburger meat to what we would be eating. I finally called the doctor about z's cough and runny nose and they can see him this afternoon. YAY!
Monday, July 21, 2014
Sunday, July 20, 2014
a possible real post
The last few days i have undergone an extremely annoying thing. I just cant place it! I want to tell everyone at work who comes in to go home and leave me alone, but then i knew i wouldnt be there much longer if i did that. I enjoy my job. I was just extremely irritable.
Then this morning i woke up feeling really good.
I did so much today, breakfast, church, work out, and i was so happy. this was one of my better days for sure! even though zypher threw up on me at church most likely because i was jostling him around playing with him.
well here is an update on this post. it is so cute to watch Garrett get in and take a bath with z. He teaches him how to make the ducks squirt water and then he will also show him and help him wash up. <3
well here is an update on this post. it is so cute to watch Garrett get in and take a bath with z. He teaches him how to make the ducks squirt water and then he will also show him and help him wash up. <3
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
heres a blog theres a blog and another little blog...
I just have that dang llama song stuck in my head today.
this morning, Zypher decided that coffee looks better on him and on the floor than in the coffee cup. sigh. he also did not want to take a morning nap. He doesnt want me either. we were going to go walk our mile today but we cant because it is raining so instead we opened the door and watched the rain.
I made bank sunday! I found a keurig, a singing elmo car, a ball pit, and an inflatable baby tub (i thought it was a baby pool :( sad day) all for 20 bucks! yes the keurig makes a god aweful ugly noise when it is brewing, but it still works. The elmo car is faded, but it works! the ball pit has four places that you blow into to blow it up, but hey its a ball pit!
I applied to GCCC (garden city community college) and i guess i am in so long as i get three reference letters. from a personal, a counselor, and a work supervisor...okay then better get cracking if i want them to get in on time!!!
Magic is being cuddly because of the weather and now that i have done this blog i feel like i am going to go write.
this morning, Zypher decided that coffee looks better on him and on the floor than in the coffee cup. sigh. he also did not want to take a morning nap. He doesnt want me either. we were going to go walk our mile today but we cant because it is raining so instead we opened the door and watched the rain.
I made bank sunday! I found a keurig, a singing elmo car, a ball pit, and an inflatable baby tub (i thought it was a baby pool :( sad day) all for 20 bucks! yes the keurig makes a god aweful ugly noise when it is brewing, but it still works. The elmo car is faded, but it works! the ball pit has four places that you blow into to blow it up, but hey its a ball pit!
I applied to GCCC (garden city community college) and i guess i am in so long as i get three reference letters. from a personal, a counselor, and a work supervisor...okay then better get cracking if i want them to get in on time!!!
Magic is being cuddly because of the weather and now that i have done this blog i feel like i am going to go write.
Thursday, July 10, 2014
Pour me a stiff one
I am so angry that the world hates me today!
My computer has somehow gotten a virus, and i know how to get rid of it, but its a sneaky virus and is one step ahead of me. :/
Well, we went and got groceries and we always get a gift card for mcdonalds too so we can eat after. I guess my body didnt want ANY of it. i barely ate. Everything was annoying too. Like the beeps on the dang timers, the fact that my sandwhich was crooked, the seatbelt for the child seat was broken, my mcflurry was made with the icecream then the m&ms put on top, not mixed in like seriously people?! whatever.
We got home and garrett didnt put groceries away because he brought them in, and yes, that is our usual thing but dammit today i just wanted to slap the shit out of him for saying that.
We put z to bed and i put in the last disc of The Flash- my crush from childhood john shipp. Anyways, the disc doesnt work! UGH and i know when i turn it in tomorrow at the library the bitchy lady is going to look at me like im crazy. she ALWAYS DOES! im supposed to have teacher privileges which means unlimited books for a month and 12 discs instead of 6 for the month but she NEVER lets me check out that many because i work at the gas station so im not a teacher. Good thing im EXCELLENT friends with the library director. :) He will fix it for me. come to think of it, she doesnt give garrett his month of books either.
I applied for FAFSA for early childhood education associates degree from the community college here and the damned thing says that im not entering my correct tax info! wtf?! i have it right here in my hand and its nto right?! Tits!!
Not to mention i work tomorrow noon to five then sat 8 to five and Garrett instead of doing anything helpful has decided to hide in the basement. thank you technology...not
just give me a drink.
My computer has somehow gotten a virus, and i know how to get rid of it, but its a sneaky virus and is one step ahead of me. :/
Well, we went and got groceries and we always get a gift card for mcdonalds too so we can eat after. I guess my body didnt want ANY of it. i barely ate. Everything was annoying too. Like the beeps on the dang timers, the fact that my sandwhich was crooked, the seatbelt for the child seat was broken, my mcflurry was made with the icecream then the m&ms put on top, not mixed in like seriously people?! whatever.
We got home and garrett didnt put groceries away because he brought them in, and yes, that is our usual thing but dammit today i just wanted to slap the shit out of him for saying that.
We put z to bed and i put in the last disc of The Flash- my crush from childhood john shipp. Anyways, the disc doesnt work! UGH and i know when i turn it in tomorrow at the library the bitchy lady is going to look at me like im crazy. she ALWAYS DOES! im supposed to have teacher privileges which means unlimited books for a month and 12 discs instead of 6 for the month but she NEVER lets me check out that many because i work at the gas station so im not a teacher. Good thing im EXCELLENT friends with the library director. :) He will fix it for me. come to think of it, she doesnt give garrett his month of books either.
I applied for FAFSA for early childhood education associates degree from the community college here and the damned thing says that im not entering my correct tax info! wtf?! i have it right here in my hand and its nto right?! Tits!!
Not to mention i work tomorrow noon to five then sat 8 to five and Garrett instead of doing anything helpful has decided to hide in the basement. thank you technology...not
just give me a drink.
Saturday, July 5, 2014
What the Effing Crap!? *long
Heres the down dirty nitty gritty. Ignore the jumping of train of thoughts back and forth between it all i am VERY close to having a *friend* over to visit (hint). Also i just have a lot i want to say and i WILL try to organize it...no promises though
I love it out here on occasion. when i am involved, when there are actual other people involved in the daily world of Zypher and Jessica.
I miss my family so much it hurts. And i want to go back to them or at least find a happy medium. somewhere where i can take a weekend trip, not a week long trip. DO NOT get me wrong, a week long trip is AWESOME!!! I just miss them and need my batteries recharged sometimes.
Garrett and I WERE approved for the house and I find myself saying, DO I WANT THIS FOR THE NEXT FIVE YEARS? sigh, do i? ask me after church on sundays, after volunteering at the local thrift store on tuesday, some wednesdays when i get the oppertunity to go and sew with a group of older women, and after work on Friday, and most Saturdays. The answer is yes. After the interaction wears off, i dont want it anymore though...and i find myself back to wanting to be with my family. However, a place of my own!!! A place i can paint, have dogs, cats, rats whatever pet i want (not likely all of those really people be reasonable!) Also, there is education to consider in this...Garrett wants to stay here because he not only likes his class sizes, he likes that he can get the planetarium refurbished soon (if you want to donate to help defray the districts costs, contact him via email: garrett.nekuda@usd215.org) and work on his masters degree online: which only requires he go to the university for 2 weeks a summer to do tests and hands on work in a town that is only four hours from here, where we currently are. YES you can suggest that we sit and discuss this matter until you are blue in the face, and we will take it to heart, because we do discuss it. We do talk about where we want to be, and the answer is always the same...I HAVE NO CLUE!!! I dont even know what i want to do with my life anymore!! i have made some great friends and connections here! Love the people, and that the pool is open ALL YEAR!! :) But i miss being able to just go out with friends on a whim, not having to plan a week in advance to make sure my baby is taken care of. Now DO NOT mistake that part for me not wanting my baby, because i do. with every fiber of my being i do!!
I have found a program that will get me certified as a teaching aide in a very short amount of time and at a low cost, but i dont know if i want to even do that. I keep going back to it because it would be useful in a classroom setting if i ever go back to being a para or want to do something with teaching. It would be useful in getting my GPA up, which i could use. Im only worried that i will lose interest quickly like i do with so many other things these days. i could look for a daycare and ask for more hours at work but i like what i have. i do not like that Garrett is always working! whether at the pool or for the school, we dont get to spend time together any more. We spent two hours playing monopoly the other day with out z, but that was the most we have had in over a month. Its stupid because he asked for morning shifts and ends up with closing shifts GRRRRRRRRRRRR stupid teenagers with summer camps and family vacations and other things not job related but then still wanting a job.Its not just the work though, its technology. Garrett has a school issued iPad and i do NOT like it at all. when he is home for break or in the mornings or before bed HE IS ALWAYS ON IT! I try to talk to him but im just like theres no point because he is playing a game. Or the house is a mess because he spent the week i was on vacation with my family playing on his computer and iPad. he didnt even eat the food i told him to eat, and it either went bad or molded, or he ate food that was supposed to go in another dish and we couldnt have that dish after that. lets talk about things he didnt do more: like the dishes, still piled up high in the sink and around our tiny ass kitchen, collecting mold and not getting easier to clean. the litterbox, which really pissed me off because that can make my cat sick :( my poor furbaby.
things he did do; go to work, feed the cat, and oh my uniform which i didnt need that week... O.o
Garrett likes to play chase z around the floor, which is cool i like that he interacts with him more now, but I really cannot believe that z is 10 months old and Garrett CANNOT pack a diaper bag. im like really garrett? for real? and he is like when am i ever around to do this? my response was to scoff at him and say whose fault is *THAT* remembering that he brings in the lump sum of our money because i only work about 10 hours a week mostly being saturdays. I have written him NUMEROUS notes, he has seen me put the bag together. My thoughts on this are that he really just doesnt want to.
The hospital sent me a letter saying i was delinquent on my accounts because i hadnt paid in over 90 days. I have the receipts saying otherwise. When i physically went in and talked to the collections lady, she was like oh yea it sometimes does that and we dont catch it. I was like well im paid heres my proof you better fix it. and she said its on the computer saying you paid so just ignore the letter. my response, you need to work on that because i am so tired of getting these letters every other month. I pay you on the 10th when my husband gets paid and i have been over this with you three times. I do not like the way things are being dealt with. If i have paid i do not want to see a letter in my box that says urgent action required. And all the lady did was laugh and say yea, it just happens sorry. UGH!
Ok so my phone broke like literally would not charge anywhere in any port at all! So i ordered a new one after filing a claim with insurance and what not, and oh that cost 100 dollars. (twitter reference at end of this rant* THEN THE BED BREAKS!! THE COILS CAME UP AND SCRATCHED ME! we have had this bed for 5 years so its no surprise that this happened but WHY now?? So we just covered it with some old rags and some cardboard that will do absolutely nothing but *maybe* buy us another month? *crosses fingers*Today the freaking crib decides that it doesnt want to stay up! Yes, i know its illegal to have the sliding side cribs, but i cant afford a crib! I was in babys r us and wanted to get one but didnt think we could afford another credit card to pay off. I would slide it and lock it in place on one side but the other side wouldnt lock, so i just gave up! even turning the bed to he other side wont help, z is strong enough to kick the bed away from the wall. SallieMae decided the needed more money from me so instead of my payments being oh roughly 113, they are now 120 because my husband makes more money on the salary scale now that he is a more "experienced" teacher #moneyproblems
i was in IHOP with my family during my vacation (june 15 thro june 23) and actually had a break down i was bawling my eyes out in IHOP. I found that z was eating a lot more than usual and in more frequent bursts and they informed me he was going through a growth spurt. Yes, i get it he is going to grow, but that threw our schedule of 3 months off track! it also means spending more money each moth on food. They took us to walmart and bought him food for which i am thankful but i still fear that i wont ever have money for food for either us or z. NO WE DO NOT SPEND MONEY ON THINGS THAT ARE NOT NEEDED!
Z is a good swimmer! i have a video up on my facebook page Disclaimer you will have to dig for it and by dig i mean scroll: https://www.facebook.com/jes.nekuda edited its from july 2
Also, his first birthday is in a month! holy SHIT where is my baby? He is already a year old! excuse me while i cry in a corner and look at his baby pictures. His birthday party is set for August the 9th!!! I have about 60 of everything, even though no one is going to show up. i wanted to be prepared.
He did pretty good at the fireworks show. He watched the people set them off and then watched as they went up. he even clapped some. Halfway through the show he fell asleep. That was pretty cool to me, except i want paying attention i was too busy trying to roll the windows up and get away from the people smoking. also for some reason my anxiety was shooting off too and i wanted to try and calm myself. it didnt work too well on either instance.
If you are still with me thus far and you have not pooped out or stopped reading my problems i want to thank you.
I love it out here on occasion. when i am involved, when there are actual other people involved in the daily world of Zypher and Jessica.
I miss my family so much it hurts. And i want to go back to them or at least find a happy medium. somewhere where i can take a weekend trip, not a week long trip. DO NOT get me wrong, a week long trip is AWESOME!!! I just miss them and need my batteries recharged sometimes.
Garrett and I WERE approved for the house and I find myself saying, DO I WANT THIS FOR THE NEXT FIVE YEARS? sigh, do i? ask me after church on sundays, after volunteering at the local thrift store on tuesday, some wednesdays when i get the oppertunity to go and sew with a group of older women, and after work on Friday, and most Saturdays. The answer is yes. After the interaction wears off, i dont want it anymore though...and i find myself back to wanting to be with my family. However, a place of my own!!! A place i can paint, have dogs, cats, rats whatever pet i want (not likely all of those really people be reasonable!) Also, there is education to consider in this...Garrett wants to stay here because he not only likes his class sizes, he likes that he can get the planetarium refurbished soon (if you want to donate to help defray the districts costs, contact him via email: garrett.nekuda@usd215.org) and work on his masters degree online: which only requires he go to the university for 2 weeks a summer to do tests and hands on work in a town that is only four hours from here, where we currently are. YES you can suggest that we sit and discuss this matter until you are blue in the face, and we will take it to heart, because we do discuss it. We do talk about where we want to be, and the answer is always the same...I HAVE NO CLUE!!! I dont even know what i want to do with my life anymore!! i have made some great friends and connections here! Love the people, and that the pool is open ALL YEAR!! :) But i miss being able to just go out with friends on a whim, not having to plan a week in advance to make sure my baby is taken care of. Now DO NOT mistake that part for me not wanting my baby, because i do. with every fiber of my being i do!!
I have found a program that will get me certified as a teaching aide in a very short amount of time and at a low cost, but i dont know if i want to even do that. I keep going back to it because it would be useful in a classroom setting if i ever go back to being a para or want to do something with teaching. It would be useful in getting my GPA up, which i could use. Im only worried that i will lose interest quickly like i do with so many other things these days. i could look for a daycare and ask for more hours at work but i like what i have. i do not like that Garrett is always working! whether at the pool or for the school, we dont get to spend time together any more. We spent two hours playing monopoly the other day with out z, but that was the most we have had in over a month. Its stupid because he asked for morning shifts and ends up with closing shifts GRRRRRRRRRRRR stupid teenagers with summer camps and family vacations and other things not job related but then still wanting a job.Its not just the work though, its technology. Garrett has a school issued iPad and i do NOT like it at all. when he is home for break or in the mornings or before bed HE IS ALWAYS ON IT! I try to talk to him but im just like theres no point because he is playing a game. Or the house is a mess because he spent the week i was on vacation with my family playing on his computer and iPad. he didnt even eat the food i told him to eat, and it either went bad or molded, or he ate food that was supposed to go in another dish and we couldnt have that dish after that. lets talk about things he didnt do more: like the dishes, still piled up high in the sink and around our tiny ass kitchen, collecting mold and not getting easier to clean. the litterbox, which really pissed me off because that can make my cat sick :( my poor furbaby.
things he did do; go to work, feed the cat, and oh my uniform which i didnt need that week... O.o
Garrett likes to play chase z around the floor, which is cool i like that he interacts with him more now, but I really cannot believe that z is 10 months old and Garrett CANNOT pack a diaper bag. im like really garrett? for real? and he is like when am i ever around to do this? my response was to scoff at him and say whose fault is *THAT* remembering that he brings in the lump sum of our money because i only work about 10 hours a week mostly being saturdays. I have written him NUMEROUS notes, he has seen me put the bag together. My thoughts on this are that he really just doesnt want to.
The hospital sent me a letter saying i was delinquent on my accounts because i hadnt paid in over 90 days. I have the receipts saying otherwise. When i physically went in and talked to the collections lady, she was like oh yea it sometimes does that and we dont catch it. I was like well im paid heres my proof you better fix it. and she said its on the computer saying you paid so just ignore the letter. my response, you need to work on that because i am so tired of getting these letters every other month. I pay you on the 10th when my husband gets paid and i have been over this with you three times. I do not like the way things are being dealt with. If i have paid i do not want to see a letter in my box that says urgent action required. And all the lady did was laugh and say yea, it just happens sorry. UGH!
Ok so my phone broke like literally would not charge anywhere in any port at all! So i ordered a new one after filing a claim with insurance and what not, and oh that cost 100 dollars. (twitter reference at end of this rant* THEN THE BED BREAKS!! THE COILS CAME UP AND SCRATCHED ME! we have had this bed for 5 years so its no surprise that this happened but WHY now?? So we just covered it with some old rags and some cardboard that will do absolutely nothing but *maybe* buy us another month? *crosses fingers*Today the freaking crib decides that it doesnt want to stay up! Yes, i know its illegal to have the sliding side cribs, but i cant afford a crib! I was in babys r us and wanted to get one but didnt think we could afford another credit card to pay off. I would slide it and lock it in place on one side but the other side wouldnt lock, so i just gave up! even turning the bed to he other side wont help, z is strong enough to kick the bed away from the wall. SallieMae decided the needed more money from me so instead of my payments being oh roughly 113, they are now 120 because my husband makes more money on the salary scale now that he is a more "experienced" teacher #moneyproblems
i was in IHOP with my family during my vacation (june 15 thro june 23) and actually had a break down i was bawling my eyes out in IHOP. I found that z was eating a lot more than usual and in more frequent bursts and they informed me he was going through a growth spurt. Yes, i get it he is going to grow, but that threw our schedule of 3 months off track! it also means spending more money each moth on food. They took us to walmart and bought him food for which i am thankful but i still fear that i wont ever have money for food for either us or z. NO WE DO NOT SPEND MONEY ON THINGS THAT ARE NOT NEEDED!
Z is a good swimmer! i have a video up on my facebook page Disclaimer you will have to dig for it and by dig i mean scroll: https://www.facebook.com/jes.nekuda edited its from july 2
Also, his first birthday is in a month! holy SHIT where is my baby? He is already a year old! excuse me while i cry in a corner and look at his baby pictures. His birthday party is set for August the 9th!!! I have about 60 of everything, even though no one is going to show up. i wanted to be prepared.
He did pretty good at the fireworks show. He watched the people set them off and then watched as they went up. he even clapped some. Halfway through the show he fell asleep. That was pretty cool to me, except i want paying attention i was too busy trying to roll the windows up and get away from the people smoking. also for some reason my anxiety was shooting off too and i wanted to try and calm myself. it didnt work too well on either instance.
If you are still with me thus far and you have not pooped out or stopped reading my problems i want to thank you.
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