May 20
First of all, I have done a lot of working out!!! I am down 23 pounds since January and I am feeling amazing in my body!! I wanted to feel amazing for the wedding that I was in, but I love love love the way I feel so I have been continuing it.
I am going to be real with you guys though. I have depression. I have anxiety. I have a hard time focusing at times. My depression I need to have a medication for, which I need to schedule appointments for. I have such a hard time remembering to make the appointment, and then there is always the money thing. Between the counseling and the medication appointments that will be 60 dollars. Which can be used for gas or food. In addition, the medication itself is only 6 dollars so hey i the long run its worth it. I always feel better after my counselor and I talk though. Like everything that I have been holding onto just phases away.
Because this is my space for my thoughts I have to say that I fell for someone. What does this have to do with depression? Well let me explain. I have a habit of giving things fully. Giving my whole being into a relationship. We were friends. We spent a lot of time together and I was starting to fall for him and then when he told me that he wasnt wanting what i was and let me tell you that i was hurt, crushed, and frankly, angry. Because i allowed someone to come into my life and be around me and i took time to learn things about him and open up to him. But it will be okay, i have taken him from all social media.
Keep following me on my personal facebook page as well as here! I have started a cosplay page as well which you can find here.
June 11
How is it already half way through June!?
I am still working out, I am still doing shakes and meals. I am still me and alive. I work a lot though. Ask me what i am doing at midnight making this post though! Go on, ask. Okay since you were so polite about it. I am transferring all my pictures from my laptop to Flash drives!! It is taking SOOOO long!! I did not realize I took THAT many pictures of my kid!! Who let me do that!???
But as a mother that is something you do. you take a lot of pictures to share with the world. I am doing some modeling for the store, Cato. If you have an instagram you can look for them @salinakscato or something like that. I love the way i feel when i put on clothes and walk around in them when they are sizes smaller than my normal!!
I will probably post more later, but for now I just thought i would check in and let you guys know i AM still around.
Tuesday, June 11, 2019
Tuesday, April 30, 2019
WOW
I want to travel. I have always wanted to see Switzerland. Well, this year, a group of students will be taken to Switzerland and the Mediterranean Coast. I have put in my deposit to go. Now to get a new driver's license saying that I can fly (apparently they changed the license in two years since I have gotten one) and a passport. My family and I have talked it over and I am doing research on everything.
I have a feeling that this will be a great trip and a huge step for me!
Lets talk Endgame, shall we? I saw it on opening night. I had SO many feels. Also, I realize that it is a big movie, (1.8 billion opening weekend) but why is it when you tell people you have watched it they immediately say, NO SPOILERS!? Like first of all people, I wouldn't do that. Secondly, I know how important it is to people so I wouldn't spoil it at all!
I have been using these shakes and teas from herbalife. i usually go to the place in town (there are three here) but then I signed up as a preferred member so i got a 15 percent discount when i would buy online so i did that for a while. Then I signed up this weekend to be a distributor! I get a discount plus a profit. I already have a customer and a second one on the way when he gets paid at the end of the week. I am so excited to start this journey and grow.
I have a feeling that this will be a great trip and a huge step for me!
Lets talk Endgame, shall we? I saw it on opening night. I had SO many feels. Also, I realize that it is a big movie, (1.8 billion opening weekend) but why is it when you tell people you have watched it they immediately say, NO SPOILERS!? Like first of all people, I wouldn't do that. Secondly, I know how important it is to people so I wouldn't spoil it at all!
I have been using these shakes and teas from herbalife. i usually go to the place in town (there are three here) but then I signed up as a preferred member so i got a 15 percent discount when i would buy online so i did that for a while. Then I signed up this weekend to be a distributor! I get a discount plus a profit. I already have a customer and a second one on the way when he gets paid at the end of the week. I am so excited to start this journey and grow.
Wednesday, April 17, 2019
Not myself
I have not felt like myself lately guys. I had a fun time at the wedding a few weekends ago, but my heart also broke. I wont go into too much detail just know that is part of the reason I have been away so long. I am trying to redefine myself and be happy where I am.
I havent been to the gym as much as I should and I know that is part of the reason too.
My parents are tearing up my upstairs to make a room for my kiddo. He wants it so bad, but I dont see what was wrong with what he had oh well.
I havent been to the gym as much as I should and I know that is part of the reason too.
My parents are tearing up my upstairs to make a room for my kiddo. He wants it so bad, but I dont see what was wrong with what he had oh well.
Tuesday, April 2, 2019
Comicon Photoshoots
I will eventually edit all of these photos as I am learning how to use photoshop right now :D
Monday, March 25, 2019
Is this happening!?
I love the series If popular sodas were people, and i decided to cosplay Sprite!! I have dyed the hat green, gotten blue ribbon, and a dress pattern :D
I am on my way to getting things done for comicon this weekend where I will meet my favorite actor!! John Wesley Shipp!
I will also meet the VA of Artemis while i am cosplaying Luna.
Wednesday, March 20, 2019
Feelings
What do you do when you have feelings? Are you like me and bottle them up inside of you until they are bursting at the seams to get out? What happens when they do get out? Is there a metaphorical river running through you in the form of searing hot tears and anger and sadness? Yes. Me. All the time. Actually no, not all the time. Just recently it seems.
I take an antidepressant. I know, weird that such a happy-go-lucky person as myself would need it. Well, I do. I didn't know that I did until I was pregnant though (age 23). I was always in therapy though to learn how to communicate and express my feelings. It is not easy for me to do this. I am best when I am writing, it is when I truly shine. Which is partly why I started this blog. Some place where I could come and talk about what I want. What I need. What I feel. Me. Me. Me.
That being said, I am hurting. I see my friends around me these days, getting married, having kid number two or three, buying houses. Meanwhile, I have nothing. I live in my old room in my old house in my old town. I live there because I cannot afford to live on my own. I have two jobs because I can't support myself otherwise. But I also cannot support my son either. I do not like the way I look. I have been trying to change that by getting up and going to the gym more. However, as of late, I have no desire to. No drive to get up in the mornings and go. (I did today though! I took a long hot shower and sat in the massage chair to relax). I don't want to be alone. I don't want to be the one person that has no love life. I put myself out there several times and it always comes back to bite me in the ass. This person doesn't want kids, well i have a kid so sorry. Another doesn't want a relationship, but i do. So I have come tot he conclusion that maybe i am just not meant to have a love life. I will remain alone, which is okay for now, but not really.
I love my kid to the end of the world and back. I know that he is smart. He knows that he is smart. My kid just loves to learn, kind of like me. He, however, does not really know when to turn it off. And that is part of him, I know, but it has been annoying to me lately. And maybe, as a normal person, I do not know how to respond and/or react to him being the autistic kiddo that he is. We are working on it together. I have been reminding him of hula hoops and how every person has a hula hoop around them called a boundary or personal space. He is doing better with that, but still struggles. His loudness has no filter. It is always set at one level: loud! The annoying thing to me that I should have started off with I guess, is that he knows so much stuff about so many different things and I really don't care. Mom did you know, mom did you know, did you know, did you know, hey try this, do this, this is because... and on and on and on! I am really thinking that there is no off button. Even at bedtime he would rather me make up a story about something he learned that day than hear a bedtime story. I know your IQ is 125 and that is higher than the normal person's IQ, but you have to stop and smell the roses sometimes. I don't really care about black holes and science experiments dude. I should not complain though because he is who he is and that is not going to change. It is just something that has been bothering me that I needed to let go of.
Sorry if this was dragging on and long. I promise that soon it will not be so hard for me to post such emotional things. I just need to get out of my head and back into my own routine. Do not fear my awesome friends, I am working on cosplays and writing more in my book. With any luck, maybe I may achieve my goal to be published :D
I take an antidepressant. I know, weird that such a happy-go-lucky person as myself would need it. Well, I do. I didn't know that I did until I was pregnant though (age 23). I was always in therapy though to learn how to communicate and express my feelings. It is not easy for me to do this. I am best when I am writing, it is when I truly shine. Which is partly why I started this blog. Some place where I could come and talk about what I want. What I need. What I feel. Me. Me. Me.
That being said, I am hurting. I see my friends around me these days, getting married, having kid number two or three, buying houses. Meanwhile, I have nothing. I live in my old room in my old house in my old town. I live there because I cannot afford to live on my own. I have two jobs because I can't support myself otherwise. But I also cannot support my son either. I do not like the way I look. I have been trying to change that by getting up and going to the gym more. However, as of late, I have no desire to. No drive to get up in the mornings and go. (I did today though! I took a long hot shower and sat in the massage chair to relax). I don't want to be alone. I don't want to be the one person that has no love life. I put myself out there several times and it always comes back to bite me in the ass. This person doesn't want kids, well i have a kid so sorry. Another doesn't want a relationship, but i do. So I have come tot he conclusion that maybe i am just not meant to have a love life. I will remain alone, which is okay for now, but not really.
I love my kid to the end of the world and back. I know that he is smart. He knows that he is smart. My kid just loves to learn, kind of like me. He, however, does not really know when to turn it off. And that is part of him, I know, but it has been annoying to me lately. And maybe, as a normal person, I do not know how to respond and/or react to him being the autistic kiddo that he is. We are working on it together. I have been reminding him of hula hoops and how every person has a hula hoop around them called a boundary or personal space. He is doing better with that, but still struggles. His loudness has no filter. It is always set at one level: loud! The annoying thing to me that I should have started off with I guess, is that he knows so much stuff about so many different things and I really don't care. Mom did you know, mom did you know, did you know, did you know, hey try this, do this, this is because... and on and on and on! I am really thinking that there is no off button. Even at bedtime he would rather me make up a story about something he learned that day than hear a bedtime story. I know your IQ is 125 and that is higher than the normal person's IQ, but you have to stop and smell the roses sometimes. I don't really care about black holes and science experiments dude. I should not complain though because he is who he is and that is not going to change. It is just something that has been bothering me that I needed to let go of.
Sorry if this was dragging on and long. I promise that soon it will not be so hard for me to post such emotional things. I just need to get out of my head and back into my own routine. Do not fear my awesome friends, I am working on cosplays and writing more in my book. With any luck, maybe I may achieve my goal to be published :D
Tuesday, March 19, 2019
Lots of things
So many things have happened lately! I need to let you all in on a few things.
Spring Break. I worked at the ice cream store pretty much all week. Hours equal hours though!
It was alright overall though. Our waffle cone iron died, we ran out of rocky road ice cream, and people were sad and upset. People were also upset that we don't offer free water. We have bottles of water that are available to be bought for a dollar, but not like a cup we can give out to you...
Okay so I will spill the beans and let you know that I did end up sleeping with (read as: had sex with) the guy that I was seeing. We weren't planning on it. It happened. It was great.
We are good friends and we see each other a lot especially with the wedding coming up. He is the best man and I am a bridesmaid so we get to help out with 'lil details. I hope to goodness that doesn't detour your reading. I mean, I like the guy and he has said that he likes me but isn't ready to be in a relationship so just hanging out as friends will have to be enough, and for now it is.
Well as far as spring break goes, it wasn't too bad. My son wanted to be the statue of liberty and so I spent an entire evening making him a crown out of paper plates and construction paper and paint. It turned out nicely!! He turned his dinosaur tail inside out so the scales did not show, and he was so happy!!
Okay in one week I will be going to comicon!! I am SOOO excited to meet my hero, John Wesley Shipp, the original Flash *in my eyes* and then on top of it i get to show off my awesome skills at makin costumes, especially with what I already have in my closet!! :D
Well this is about all i have to say
Spring Break. I worked at the ice cream store pretty much all week. Hours equal hours though!
It was alright overall though. Our waffle cone iron died, we ran out of rocky road ice cream, and people were sad and upset. People were also upset that we don't offer free water. We have bottles of water that are available to be bought for a dollar, but not like a cup we can give out to you...
Okay so I will spill the beans and let you know that I did end up sleeping with (read as: had sex with) the guy that I was seeing. We weren't planning on it. It happened. It was great.
We are good friends and we see each other a lot especially with the wedding coming up. He is the best man and I am a bridesmaid so we get to help out with 'lil details. I hope to goodness that doesn't detour your reading. I mean, I like the guy and he has said that he likes me but isn't ready to be in a relationship so just hanging out as friends will have to be enough, and for now it is.
Well as far as spring break goes, it wasn't too bad. My son wanted to be the statue of liberty and so I spent an entire evening making him a crown out of paper plates and construction paper and paint. It turned out nicely!! He turned his dinosaur tail inside out so the scales did not show, and he was so happy!!
Okay in one week I will be going to comicon!! I am SOOO excited to meet my hero, John Wesley Shipp, the original Flash *in my eyes* and then on top of it i get to show off my awesome skills at makin costumes, especially with what I already have in my closet!! :D
Well this is about all i have to say
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